Not so Quiet Sitting

So just to let those of you out there who are wondering what I mean when I talk about a quiet sitting I thought I would share a little of my piece of heaven with you. This was a Quiet Sitting I did that lasted about 20 minutes because Jaden wanted to be carried up the stairs to the therapy room but we are trying to teach him that he needs to walk. I didn't post the whole 20 minutes. I only posted about 1 min. But if you want to know what it is like real time just watch the video 20 times. Trust me you'll love it....as much as I do.

So moms of non-autistic children count your lovely blessings. You don't know how much work you are missing out on. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade my love bugs but dealing with the symptoms of autism really is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Enjoy!!!

The First One Bites the Dust

So sadly the rumors about hiring college students are true. They are very flaky. It is interesting how because I don't have a business sign out front or have them dress up for work I tend to be no more than a mother hiring a babysitter.

I have had to cover shifts, as my instructors call the day before or the day of and can't make their shifts. I tend to do the most hours of therapy for Jaden out of all the instructors, which saves me money, but it also makes me a horrible mother and wife. I tend to get a little burned out.

But only after barely working for me for two months I had an instructor quit. They seemed to enjoy working with Jaden so I was surprised when they gave me their two week notice. The funny thing was was that they were the most proactive in getting this job. They really wanted it. I guess they learned what their calling in life really wasn't.

So I'm a hiring again. I've had only a few resumes and only one golden applicant. We'll see what happens. You may think what's the big deal about hiring a new person? But let me tell you the costs:$75 for one newspaper ad endless time calling schools and calling applicants and interviewing them. Then it will cost an extra $250 to train them...at least. So our bleeding account will be blood letting for a while

...And with all the stress my infamous cold sore is back. Lovely.

Fueding Brothers

Those of you who are familiar with therapies for autism then God bless you because you are probably facing the same problems I'm facing in this life.

I am currently dealing with a couple feuding brothers from that family of Autism Therapy. Older Bro Aba is stating since he is older he is much wiser and that he is changing with time and adapting despite what his younger brother, Rdi, says. Aba says that many autistic children have and still are being cured, rehabilitated, or recovered from autism because of him. While Rdi says Aba only helps children deal with static situations such as the classroom environment where 1+1=2 and where there are rules with right or wrong answers. But what do they do to try and make a friend or to make a decision when there is no right or wrong answer?

So as you can see I've invited both these feuding brother therapies into my home and let them have full reign with my children. Boy, it is sure hard to keep track of ABA time and RDI time. During ABA time I have to take the feathery language out and make simple request or demands (imperative statements...for my fellow RDIians). I have to keep my expressions and tone neutral unless I'm reinforcing Jaden's correct choice or playing during play time.

But in RDI land I have to kill those imperative statements (commands) and use declarative statements. Now my dear friends this change from ABA , Superman, to RDI, Clark Kent, is killing me. I often find myself saying "Doh!!!" Every time it is time to eat. ABA superman personality takes over and tells the kiddies "Eat!" Instead of using my RDI Clark Kent voice to tell them "You look like you are hungry. Those gluten free pancakes sure look delicious. Yum Yum!!!"

My little sunshine on two legs gets all RDI and she loves when I do crazy facial expressions to communicate. She thinks it is more of a circus show rather than a way to communicate. I still love her anyway. It is a good thing I don't have to video tape it...right now anyway. I could be blackmailed...and badly. I'd do anything to keep it off You tube.

Jaden gets both. He gets the 35-40 hours of ABA a week and during his down time I'm telling him about the birds outside, the pack of dogs that live next door, and about the national budget deficit. He mostly likes to hear about the popcorn popping on the apricot tree or about the wheels on the bus go round and round.

But I have to say ABA has helped Jaden immensely. He has gone from not saying a word 2 1/2 months ago to saying a couple sentences. His tantrums have decreased and he is more able to communicate simple needs. He still has a ways to go but despite what RDI says ABA has helped him. But I will be doing RDI with him as I go along. One thing I love about RDI is that there is no 'window' of time to teach your autistic child. So we may end up stopping ABA after a couple years but I can continue RDI as long as I need to.

Brinn is starting to talk and says all the words Jaden uses frequently. She is making a lot of progress and is starting to be more social.

One thing I love about having these two is watching them play with each other. It warms my sad heart at times to know that they will always have a friend.

I Vant to Vipe your Vindows

So I had an interesting conversation today.

A window washer came to my door today (and this is not a joke) and wanted to wash all my windows for a hefty price. I told him we were selling our house (as I pointed to the for sale sign in my front yard) and said we were a little tight on money. He asked what I could afford and then I told him he wouldn't come back if I told him. I then explained why we were selling the house and that all our money was going to our autistic kids.

He asked if my kids were the 'smart autistic kids' and I explained 'no they are like most autistic children.'

Then he proceeded to tell me that "Autism is the coolest thing to have."

Was he serious? I stood there to see if he was joking. I remembered the destructive tantrums the day I realized that not just one but both my kids were autistic and the crying I went through because I knew that both my love bugs may have a hard childhood and a dependent adulthood and they may not have the opportunity to have families of their own.

Then I kindly explained to my friendly window washer "You couldn't be more wrong."

...But then he decided he would wash my windows for $25 instead of $150...and they are pretty high windows.

Tip Toe Through The Tulips

I came across this description of what it was like to raise a child with a disability and this sure hits home to me. It is by Emily Perl Kingsley.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch you breath, you look around...and you begin to notice Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But, if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

Absolute Bedlam Analysis (ABA) training workshop

Okay, for all you who would like to know how to tame a lion or how it feels to be eaten by one just ask me...and it can happen in that order.

Jaden's training workshop went smoothly and every one of the instructors I hired did really well. I have to admit I lucked out when I hired these kids (Okay, at the most they are only 4-6 years younger than me). But I discovered during these training sessions how much Jaden really loved his loved ones.

So all my instructors did a sitting with Jaden and Jaden loved them and thought they were hilarious. Then the Big Bad Momma came and sat down in front of him to make him imitate her clapping her hands. I mean, how dare she?!!!

Boy did he give it to me! Jaden didn't have a tantrum the first hour with the other instructors but he sure told the world he wasn't going to do a thing Mom said or showed him to do. I had to do a Quiet Sitting with Jaden that lasted a half an hour. Okay, for those of you who know how to do ABA therapy, try to explain how hard it is to block a tantruming autistic toddler and keep your face neutral for a long period of time, especially when it is your child. I was almost in tears halfway through and only able to get a hold of myself by imagining I was far far far far far away--and a little bit skinnier. Luckily my back was to the camera and to my audience of 8 people. Only the consultant could see my face but he was nice enough to pretend I was far far away--and hopefully a little bit skinnier.

By the end of the day I was drained. It is funny how emotional stress can affect you. I felt I was doing heavy manual labor but without the good workout.

But that was only the first day of training. The second day was even better.

Nothing says "Bad Parent" like when everyone can get your child to do cartwheels and flips with a verbal command while you, the boy's mother, can't even get him to sit in a chair by sitting on him. But I have to admit I did feel a little better when Jason (who was there the second day because it was on a Saturday) volunteered to do a sitting. I could tell Jason was very confident because he is very good at getting Jaden to laugh his guts out when they are playing--but ABA is not a playing session. Jaden starting screaming his guts out when Jason only said "Come here." That was Jason's first Quiet Sitting and only one so far. I don't think he would like to repeat it. I couldn't remember how long Jason's Quiet Sitting was but the whole time I was thinking "Whew, at least it isn't just me. Jaden doesn't like his dad either."

Of course, I had to do a couple more sittings and just as I predicted Jaden told me he loved me like only he could. Needless to say, I am a trifle deaf now and emotionally scarred. But I guess I'd do pretty much anything for my Cookie Stealer.

Who knew your kids could differentiate their loved ones by clawing, scratching, and screaming at them. But if that is the definition of love then I'm one cherished mother.

So when training was over I was ready for a lobotomy.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba...

Mad Dash.

Okay, our training workshop for Jaden's ABA program is done. Jaden is dead beat tired and I'm dragging. I don't really feel like blogging but I thought I'd let the fam that reads this boring blog know we are done.

Good Night! I'm going to bed (even though it is 6:30 PM).