Absolute Bedlam Analysis (ABA) training workshop

Okay, for all you who would like to know how to tame a lion or how it feels to be eaten by one just ask me...and it can happen in that order.

Jaden's training workshop went smoothly and every one of the instructors I hired did really well. I have to admit I lucked out when I hired these kids (Okay, at the most they are only 4-6 years younger than me). But I discovered during these training sessions how much Jaden really loved his loved ones.

So all my instructors did a sitting with Jaden and Jaden loved them and thought they were hilarious. Then the Big Bad Momma came and sat down in front of him to make him imitate her clapping her hands. I mean, how dare she?!!!

Boy did he give it to me! Jaden didn't have a tantrum the first hour with the other instructors but he sure told the world he wasn't going to do a thing Mom said or showed him to do. I had to do a Quiet Sitting with Jaden that lasted a half an hour. Okay, for those of you who know how to do ABA therapy, try to explain how hard it is to block a tantruming autistic toddler and keep your face neutral for a long period of time, especially when it is your child. I was almost in tears halfway through and only able to get a hold of myself by imagining I was far far far far far away--and a little bit skinnier. Luckily my back was to the camera and to my audience of 8 people. Only the consultant could see my face but he was nice enough to pretend I was far far away--and hopefully a little bit skinnier.

By the end of the day I was drained. It is funny how emotional stress can affect you. I felt I was doing heavy manual labor but without the good workout.

But that was only the first day of training. The second day was even better.

Nothing says "Bad Parent" like when everyone can get your child to do cartwheels and flips with a verbal command while you, the boy's mother, can't even get him to sit in a chair by sitting on him. But I have to admit I did feel a little better when Jason (who was there the second day because it was on a Saturday) volunteered to do a sitting. I could tell Jason was very confident because he is very good at getting Jaden to laugh his guts out when they are playing--but ABA is not a playing session. Jaden starting screaming his guts out when Jason only said "Come here." That was Jason's first Quiet Sitting and only one so far. I don't think he would like to repeat it. I couldn't remember how long Jason's Quiet Sitting was but the whole time I was thinking "Whew, at least it isn't just me. Jaden doesn't like his dad either."

Of course, I had to do a couple more sittings and just as I predicted Jaden told me he loved me like only he could. Needless to say, I am a trifle deaf now and emotionally scarred. But I guess I'd do pretty much anything for my Cookie Stealer.

Who knew your kids could differentiate their loved ones by clawing, scratching, and screaming at them. But if that is the definition of love then I'm one cherished mother.

So when training was over I was ready for a lobotomy.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba...